Bantos Lessons
by ChiaraHhue
Summary: Lorne discovers there is more to learn about Teyla's culture.


Title: Bantos Lessons

Author: Chiara Hhue

Rating: mild PG13

Spoilers:Nothing specific – definitely pre-Sunday

Pairings: Lorne/Teyla

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the characters. They belong to MGM. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

Summary: Lorne discovers there is more to learn about Teyla's culture.

Notes: Written for the Teyla/Lorne Minifest. Prompt: Word: apple; Sentence: "I do not know how I can teach you bantos when you continue to do that."

Major Lorne gave a small sigh as he watched the Head Councilor of the Klos raise his goblet and launch into yet another long and effusive toast to Dr. Weir.

"I am sure it will not be much longer, Evan."

He turned as Teyla lightly stroked his arm, and smiled down at her. There were few people outside of her team that she called by name and he found himself inordinately pleased that he was one of them.

"I don't know. The old guy seems pretty smitten with Dr. Weir." He jerked his head toward the front of the room where the Head Councilor was making a fumbling attempt to take hold of one of Elizabeth's hands.

In other circumstances, that would have been enough to launch Lorne and Teyla to Elizabeth's defense. But they merely watched in mild amusement, sipping their drinks.

"My money's on the Colonel," Lorne commented, nodding in approval as Sheppard quickly sidestepped between the two and tried to shoulder Elizabeth behind him protectively.

"You would do better not to dismiss his wife," Teyla warned.

Lorne's gaze moved to the large, imposing woman standing behind the Head Councilor. Even from a distance, there was no missing the rigid set to her spine and the displeasure on her face. And as she caught her husband's eye, he practically jumped back, dropping Elizabeth's hand like a hot stone.

"Ooo, smackdown!" Lorne, murmured.

Teyla quirked a small smile up at him. "Smackdown indeed."

Lorne suddenly straightened as he touched his headset. "Sir?" He motioned to Teyla and she touched hers as well and listened in on the Colonel's instructions.

"…so we're going to meet with the Prime Minister and his cabinet to work out the details of the trade agreement. I'm not sure how long this will take - I'll check back in an hour."

"No problem, sir. We'll wait for further instructions. Lorne out."

Cutting the connection, he turned to Teyla. "Since we're in no hurry, how about another drink?"

"You are a man after my own heart." She tilted her head and arched an eyebrow at him. "Did I use that phrase correctly?"

Lorne nodded. _More than you'll ever know,_ he thought to himself as he exchanged their empty cups for full ones from a passing waiter.

As he handed her the drink and she lightly touched his arm in thanks, he wondered for the hundredth time if her friendliness was flirting or if it was just wishful thinking on his part. He knew that despite the rumors that linked her first with Sheppard and then with Ronon, she wasn't interested in either man.

But Lorne also knew that with a woman like Teyla, available didn't mean attainable.

"This is good," he said, taking a deep drink from his cup. "It reminds me of troxels."

Teyla looked up in surprise and then smiled warmly. The majority of Atlanteans referred to Athosian foods in terms of what they knew – like calling troxels, Athosian apples. But she found it oddly pleasing that Evan always wanted to know the Athosian words and made a point of using them.

"I am curious - why do your people call troxels, Athosian apples? I've eaten Earth apples and they taste more like our pinkins."

Lorne shrugged. "Because troxels look like apples. Besides," he added with a grin. "Your pinkins look like our yams."

She grinned back. "Be careful – yam is a rude word among Athosians."

"Really?" Lorne pursed his lips in thought. "Anything else I shouldn't say in polite Athosian Society?"

Teyla leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Kavanaw."

Lorne blinked. "Kavanagh?"

"Kavanaw," she corrected. "It is a crude word that refers to a man's…" she gestured vaguely in the direction south of his belt.

Lorne nearly snorted his drink through his nose. It was one thing to be the city's most obnoxious scientist but to be a dick in both galaxies…

"Evan," Teyla said, the warning implicit in her voice. "This is not something you will repeat, correct?"

He sighed. "If you say so."

She patted his arm sympathetically. "Come. Let us go outside. It is getting too noisy in this room."

He glanced around and noticed the rather rowdy behavior of the crowd. He looked down at his empty cup and frowned slightly. "Is this stuff alcoholic?"

Teyla shook her head. "Not for me – how are you?"

Lorne took a deep breath and then suddenly winced as he felt an odd sensation hit stomach.

"Evan?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing - just a little indigestion."

"Perhaps it would help to work it off?" Teyla suggested. "I noticed that the guards carry something similar to bantos sticks. I am sure we could borrow them for a short time."

Lorne slanted a dubious glance at the scowling Klingon-sized guards near the door. "Eh…I really don't see that happening…"

Teyla merely threw him a smirk over her shoulder as she sauntered over to the two huge men. Whether it was her smile, the way she tossed her hair or the leather midriff top (Lorne suspected all of the above) she soon held two pair of sticks in her hands.

With a nod from Teyla and a thumbs up from Lorne, the two made their way outside and toward a secluded area away from the Council Hall.

As they got into position and raised their sticks, Lorne felt another stomach twinge. But ignoring the slight discomfort, he swung one arm over and around the other as Teyla made a similar move and advanced toward him.

Her sticks swung in a graceful arc as she twirled past Lorne and as one stick caught him across his side she was startled by a sharp noise.

HIC

Lorne blinked and put a hand to his rumbling stomach.

"Evan?"

"I'm okay." He waved her off. "Let's keep going – I really need the practice. Could you teach me that last move?"

She held up one stick and swung her leg in a low arc. "Move your leg and arm together – like this." She finished the move, connecting with his side with two light blows.

hic hic

Lorne spun away and swung one arm over the other, deflecting her next pass. But as Teyla sped up her moves, Lorne was hard pressed to keep up. And with each glancing blow or hit, a resounding hiccup erupted.

Abruptly Teyla stopped and faced him, an exasperated expression on her face. "I do not know how I can teach you bantos when you continue to do that."

"I'm hic sorry! It's not like I'm doing it on hic purpose!"

She moved closer and holding out one of the sticks, gingerly poked his stomach.

hic

She poked him again in quick succession.

hic hic hic

Lorne grabbed the end of the stick and pulled her toward him. "Stop hic!" You're hic making it hic worse!"

She tilted her head up at him curiously. "How do you make it stop?"

He shrugged and hiccupped at the same time.

"Perhaps I should call Dr. Beckett?"

Lorne held up his hand and sent her a pleading look. He'd never hear the end of it if Beckett found out.

"No! hic There's nothing he can hic do."

"Is there not anything that can be done?" she asked in concern, watching as Evan vainly tried holding his breath to stop the noises.

"Sometimes hic being startled will hic stop them."

"Oh. Shall I go get Ronon?"

HIC "For god's sake Teyla! I said startle, not scare the hic crap out of me!"

She watched as he took a deep breath and tried to hold it only to let it out in a loud HIC

"Does being without breath help?"

"Some hic times…"

Without warning, Teyla dropped her sticks and placing a hand on either side of his face, pulled him toward her and pressed a hard kiss on his mouth.

It took a split second for Lorne's brain to catch up to his body which to his credit, already had her pulled flush against his chest.

But before he could fully return the kiss, Teyla stepped back from his embrace, an amused smile on her lips.

"Was that a surprise?"

He nodded, his eyes drifting back down to her mouth. "A very nice one."

"And did it leave you breathless?"

He nodded again, swallowing hard as he watched the tip of her pink tongue flick out and lick her lips.

"So that annoying noise is gone?" She poked him experimentally in the stomach.

"Hey!" Lorne batted her hand away and then suddenly froze. "Is that why you kissed me?" His eyes flew up to hers. "Just to cure my hiccups?"

Stepping back into his arms, Teyla chuckled in a throaty way that sent shivers up his spine. "Well, it seemed like a good enough excuse."

Seeing his puzzled expression, she leaned in and brushed her lips along his jaw. "You have been ignoring my overtures of courtship, Evan."

"I have?" He tried frantically to search his memory but his brain was currently fixated on the feel of soft lips nuzzling his neck and hands stroking along his shoulders and down his arms.

"I use your personal name, I seek you out, I touch you," she stroked his arms again.

"Oh! I didn't know…" He reached up and tentatively touched her shoulders and then let his hands skim down along her smooth arms.

He was rewarded by a sigh against his neck as she seemed to melt against him. "I guess I should've asked about Athosian customs while I was learning words."

"There is still time to learn, Evan."

"Good." He reached down and hooking his finger under her chin, lifted her face up toward his. "I have a feeling this will be a lot more fun than bantos lessons."

The End


End file.
